You Can't Hurt Me!

Wow…

I knew that minding the whole of my life was about minding the WHOLE of my ENTIRE life ….but some things can be so damn complicated!

I have had to pleasure to encounter someone who is challenging me to open not just my mind… but my heart. This can be worse than Algebra!!!

We all have a desire to love and be loved but because of past experiences and love lost, we shut down and build walls. (I am going to need some dynamite to tear these suckers down!!!) We think we want love but we become afraid of being hurt. We believe that if you don’t open up no one can hurt us.. but the reality is…if you don’t open up.. no one can love you.

And that is because you are not ALLOWING them to love you.

It takes so much courage to be vulnerable. I know it does. I was just told that even with all the hurt and disapointment, it is still all worth it. It is intoxicating and invigorating . Vulnerability is truly about displaying the beauty of who we are without all the masks, agendas, lies, deceptions and preconceptions.It is about exposing the truth of you!

THAT. IS. SOME. HARD. SHIT.

I type that with a smile because I know better! It is so much easier to see beyond the surface in the lives of others but not always so easy when we look at our own. I have told friends that they need to be open to love to receive love. That they have to trust themselves and trust life if they are to get what they “say” their heart desires. When we are closed we are doing 1 of 2 things. We are asking to attract people and experiences that mirror how CLOSED we are (and then wonder why we can’t find love.) or We will sabotage anything that looks remotely like love because it is not in harmony with who we are at that time.

So.. once again.. it is application time and it is time to be honest with ourselves and our heart! It is truly time to let go of yesterday and the delusion that I am not in control of my life or my feelings. The truth of who I am yearns to love unabashedly and deeply and intensely and with abandon. Dare I strip naked and reveal all?????

There is only one answer.

YES! YES! and YES!

I know that the only power that exists is love and everything else is just a judgment of percerption, it is time to live it instead of just thinking it.

Who needs a fraction anyway?

Minding your Business….

Is much like seeking balance in EVERY area of your life. I am working on minding all of my affairs including business, finances, my spirituality, my personal life, school, real estate, my health… the whole of my life.

Each day I am presented with an opportunity to manage all that is on my plate and being presented to me. We get what we ask for then struggle to juggle…

Despite outward appearances… J I have to look within and evaluate because my happiness depends on it! I am not happy when I allow “let myself off the hook.” It is sooo easy to do what is easy but so much more gratifying when we do what is in our hearts to do.

Accountability is a theme for me and I am learning to prioritize and become mesmerized by my own power to be ME.. my own power to control what is in front of me…what is best for me.

I am experiencing growing pains as I struggle with breaking old habits. I am currently STRUG-A-LING with of my desire to run away when the going gets tough… I have to learn to wade thru things that don’t come easy so I get to a point where there is no such thing as an obstacle.

I am taking an Algebra class and it is KICK-ING –MY –ASS!!! But that is because I don’t want to study, I don’t want to pay attention, I don’t want to do a damn equation, slope, fraction…. I barely want to multiply!!!!!!! But now it is no longer about what I want to do… it is about WHAT I HAVE TO DO. Once I complete this class I will have my degree.. and that means that the habit I acquired of feeling defeated by long division and calculating expressions can be NO MORE! I must become strong in the areas where I am weak and develop dexterity. I must remain focused on the goal and keep my mind on what I CAN accomplish or all of this will have been for…nothing.

This is not really about distributive property or exponents… this is about commitment, discipline and practicing the art of completion.

This is about stamina.. PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

This is the time for me to grow up.. Coming with me???